so, what are you waiting for

these were the words that looked up to me this morning from my bedroom floor. i had just been asking myself the question when i looked down, and there it was written on the front of a birthday card.
i realize that i have been waiting for, and putting my hope in my own selfish desires. but everything else pales in comparison to the hope i have in Christ. i have been waiting on the things God has for me, or rather what i think God has for me, instead of waiting upon WHO HE IS. When i wait upon his faithfulness, i have a feeling that my anxiousness will begin to go away. i don't need to keep trying to be patient and striving to just deal with it because you know, there's this thing called peace. And when we wait in the peace of the presence of God, we don't need to wait for anything at all. two things that i continually seek are compassion and contentment. contentment is rooted in this peace, knowing that whatever comes my way...or doesn't...won't change who I am in Christ.
i lay it all aside, just to be in the presence of the maker of my heart.

in his arms

i fall hard. i bleed deep. but i also laugh without inhibition. my joy is real and rooted in a firm foundation. i want to live on purpose. i always ran away from mediocrity. that is a good thing, except it's a bad thing when it gets mixed with my stupid pride.
today my heart was broke open for the hurting children of this world. i have been so swallowed up in my pride i had forgotten my purpose here on this earth. caught up in so many other things. even though i know i am in the right place, i really have been somewhere else. if everything were to be stripped away from me, where would i look to for my identity? i am willing to give everything up, but i dont want to wait for that to happen for me to realize Who gives me breath, what i am living for. My God is a LOVE greater than life, a love that defeats death. i am honored to be able to share this love with others, and i wont let anything stop me.
Lord, keep those kids warm tonight. May those who are hurting know that you are the hope they have been searching for.