all my thoughts and heart talks.

"keep a green tree in your heart for your free dream"

this is what is written on the first page of my present journal. When i bought it from the store on Granville island, it was already printed there on the page, with 10 straight lines underneath, waiting for someone's free dream to be written there. To this day it remains blank. How can i sum up the dreams of my heart in 10 small lines? The journal is now almost full. Full of adventures and stories, hurts and joys, and dreams. I may just write in the empty lines "see following pages". Because my dream wasn't formed when i was 8 and wanted to be a marine biologist. Because when i hit high school i discovered i had no passion whatsoever for biology. My dream wasn't formed when i took dance lessons, went on band trips, played soccer, or ran around the track. I thank God that he didn't give me an incredible, natural ability to do something exceedingly well. Such as singing, a sport...something that makes you who you are. Something that defines who you are. You enjoy it because you're great at it, and your whole life is devoted to it, hopefully all for the glory of God. Because i need the desperateness of not knowing. I need to trust my God every day in what he has for me.
I have been involved with children's ministry, youth ministry, street ministry, elderly ministry...I have been involved in "ministry" my whole life it seems. And I have to say that I'm not drawn to any one more than the other. Some areas are more comfortable for me, but i always love a challenge. I have absolutely no idea what God has in store for me. But i have dreams. And those dreams could take me anywhere. I know these things for certain: that I can trust in my Jesus every day with everything. That I want to spend my life risking everything i have for the one who gave it all to me, with the ones i love at my side.

el amor incondicional

it doesn't make sense. it's anything but rational. it's not just a feeling. not just an emotion. when i look to the example of Christ i see a reflection of these things. it didn't make sense to any of his closest friends. it was by far a rational decision; to take the blame for something he didn't do, all for the sake of saving the ones he loves. he is a real man. he feared the outcome of his decision of love. it was the hardest thing he ever did and none of us can ever comprehend the gravity of this decision. i pray that i can live my life with a fraction of this love for other people.

this love between God - through Jesus - and his children is beautiful. and over the past few months i have seen glimpses of it. unconditional. without condition. our love at the best of times is flawed. but WOW when i see God's love in action...there is nothing more beautiful. it's contagious. and it's our call and duty to love as Jesus loved. the smallest action, the softest of words can have the biggest impact. but why stop there. do something BIG. don't just help an old lady cross the street and consider your good deed done for the day. Breathe in your God. Soak him in every day so that he seeps out of your pores. So that everyone you come into contact with will see that you walk with the Creator. Like Moses when his face was shining with the glory of the Lord. He wasn't more "holy" than anyone else. He simply had the desire to walk with the Lord and he sought his face.
there are some people that are a little harder to love which challenges me. and there are some people who teach me more about love. there are some people who allow me to better grasp the unconditional love of Christ. i am blessed.