and all the wiser you will be

part one. so here i am, walking through life, all the while trying to learn something new. i know from experience that sometimes learning feels like you're being dragged through a pit of broken glass with an evil flying monkey squirting lemon juice into your eyeballs and laughing with glee. basically...it sucks. BUT i also know from experience that once it's over with you will look back and nod your head through the pain and know that you've become stronger and wiser because of it. sometimes it takes longer than other times. sometimes it's hard to not regret what you've been through, or hard to see what the point of it all was. you feel like you've messed up, and wish you could do it all over again. [hypothetically speaking, right?]
sometimes i wish i was the person i used to be. back when my heart was innocent and whole. i could strive and strive to be that person again, but i would really be cheating myself. i cannot go back, i can only move forward. and why deny myself the reality that this patched up, sewn together, bloody heart is way more beautiful and wiser than it was before. it is a gift in disguise and i do not want to throw it away.

part two. i thought i knew what it meant to love people. i thought i understood the teachings of the most loving man who ever lived. i have not yet arrived. one of my friends told me that we don't just tolerate people, we really love them. and recently my eyes have been opened to this reality. a revelation, i guess you could call it. have you ever learned something that has shifted your worldview so much that you feel like you're a new person? that everything seems to make a little more sense? that you feel inspired to go be a better person? ya me neither. no i'm kidding, that's exactly what happened. love will always be a mystery to me, but yesterday i realized it doesn't need to be complicated. just love people. without borders, boundaries, limits. sometimes it will mean offending some in order to love others. the call is great and the need is evident. love people.