...of people making me feel like an idiot. i feel so small. i hate feeling small. some people know how to do it quite well. how do i love them? in that moment of me shrinking into a grasshopper, how do i look up at that shoe coming down to squish me and love them? i try. in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt,
Well i give consent way too easily then.No one can make you feel inferior
without your consent
second thought of the day, and a much happier one. so i have this "journey blog" right...like one where i am supposed to update people on where i am in the world and how my days in Europe are going and all that wonderful stuff. Well. what if i decided i don't want to go to Europe
anymore? Because it's just not me. It might be fun to do with someone. But to go discover that stuff on my own? I don't think that is me. Aaaaaaand this process of discovering what is "me" and who i am and what i want, i realize has already begun. This is it. It's part of the adventure already. It doesn't start when i get on a plane or sit on a foreign beach or meet people with sweet accents. It is now. And i want it to be that way. i don't want to keep looking forward to the next big thing, the next lesson i will learn. I've been missing out on the everyday lessons God has for me. What can i do for you today God? today.What DO i want? i want to hop into my beloved Clementine, throw a single suitcase into the back....ok make it a big one....and drive to California. Just go. Learn to surf. breathe in the sea. We'll call this Plan #72 or something like that...but maybe just maybe this one will fly.
I'm feelin it
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